I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
