If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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