bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
