So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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