just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize