doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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