I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
