I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
True strength comes from lack of pants
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
