Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
