im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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