i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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