The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize