When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
