you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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