life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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