The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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