And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
