Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
