having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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