Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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