How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
