Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize