Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
