when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
