Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
