He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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