my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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