If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
