he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
