His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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