Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
