it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
