Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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