STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
