the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
