she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
