if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
