ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
