just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
