Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
