Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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