you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
sex in a hospital.. check
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
