people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
