I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
