ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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