I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
