He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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