y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
