thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
