I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
