Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
