I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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