thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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