Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
