I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just cropdusted the office
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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