Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I cut my penus on the lid.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
