shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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