why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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