we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
