And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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