way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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