all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
