Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
