why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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