can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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