Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
