I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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