You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
