you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
