Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you didnt know i had herpes?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
