I just gift wrapped bread.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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