You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
