Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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