Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
