i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize