woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
