Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
