You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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